When Did “Fine” Become Enough?
The subtle ways we settle… and how to choose something better
I was talking to my friend here in Costa Rica the other day about how differently we tolerate discomfort. She was at the beach, laid her towel down, and spent the whole day there. At some point she realized she was sitting next to a bunch of ants, and instead of moving… she stayed and got bitten.
I had almost the exact same situation happen to me recently. Went to the beach, laid down my towel, was having a grand old time. Then suddenly I saw an ant crawling up my leg. At first I thought nothing of it, because nature, but then I saw three ants on my stuff. Instead of staying, I got up and moved my towel immediately.
There was no hesitation. No internal debate. No “it’s fine.”
Just a low tolerance for things being “fine.” I just thought… why would I suffer through this? I came here to enjoy myself. And for me, enjoyment does not include ants crawling on me while I’m trying to relax. But most people stay with the ants. 😅
We tell ourselves it’s fine. It’s not that bad. But when did “not that bad” become acceptable? When did it become the way of life? When did discomfort become something we just… agree to live with?
And it made me start thinking. Is this resilience? Or have we just gotten so used to settling that we call it resilience?
Because we’ve all been taught, in some way, that suffering is part of the process. That if it’s hard, it must be worth it. That if we’re uncomfortable, we must be growing. That we need to endure in order to succeed.
And yes… sometimes that’s true.
But I think we’ve taken that idea and stretched it way too far. There’s a difference between choosing challenge for something you actually want, and just tolerating things that don’t feel good because it’s deemed social acceptable, and dare I say… respectable.
For example: I don’t enjoy running. This is coming from someone who has run two half marathons and more 5Ks than I can count. AND I still don’t enjoy it. Like I got to a point where I had to pause and ask myself… wait, why am I even doing this? Just to say I ran? Just to prove I can endure? Just to check a box that says “I can do hard things?”
But none of that was actually changing my life. It brought me no joy, it wasn’t aligned with who I actually wanted to be, and it wasn’t even something I even cared to get better at. So why was I doing it? For people to clap for me for enduring the hard thing? To prove that I was worthy and I could suffer enough to feel worthy?
So then you have to ask yourself: why am I building endurance for something I don’t even want?
And we do this in so many areas of our lives. We train ourselves to tolerate things we don’t actually like. We get really good at pushing through… REALLY good at enduring… REEEEALLLY good at proving we can handle it…
But for what?
Why are we training ourselves to tolerate lives we don’t even desire?
That’s how it happens. We get used to being slightly miserable, slightly dissatisfied, slightly off. And one day, that becomes our baseline.
That’s how we end up in relationships that look good on paper but feel empty. That’s how we stay in jobs that are “fine” but slowly drain the life out of us. That’s how we build entire lives around things we don’t actually like… and then call it normal.
And I think the scariest part is we don’t even realize we’re doing it. Because nothing is THAT bad. But nothing is really that good either.
We don’t usually change when things are just “fine.”
We stay, and we tolerate, and we adjust, and we tell ourselves its not that bad, until one day, it’s just NOT fine anymore. The slow build of discomfort turns into burnout. You wake up and realize you’re exhausted, disconnected, and living a life that doesn’t even feel like yours. You look around and think… how did I get here?
It is literally never one big, dramatic decision. It is a thousand tiny moments of saying “this is fine” when it actually wasn’t. A thousand times you ignored the nudge. A thousand times you stayed a little longer. A thousand times you ignore the truth.
And then one day… you snap because you finally can’t ignore it anymore. Now you’re not just slightly uncomfortable. You’re COMPLETLEY out of alignment.
Just know, it didn’t have to get that far.
So then the question becomes…
Is this resilience?
Or is this just an appetite for tolerating things that slightly suck?
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying life is supposed to be perfect, and I’m not saying you’ll never have hard days. What I am saying is you should be conscious of what you’re choosing.
Because more often than not, we forget to realise that we have options. We can choose more ease, more joy, more flow, and less discomfort. We just don’t take them because we think we’re supposed to endure.
This actually reminded me of something that happened last summer in Italy (which I talked about on Threads and it kind of blew up a little, but alas, this is the internet for ya)
I was in Bologna and booked the cheapest train to Florence. It was a €9 ticket, super easy, I’ve booked manyyyy train tickets before, no big deal at all. But this train, from the second I got there, was chaotic AF.
The train was 30 minutes late. The doors wouldn’t open for another 15 minutes. And when they finally did, it was packed like sardines. Like stepping into a moving crowd of people and… bicycles.
Not suitcases. Bicycles.
There were bikes lined up inside the carriage like someone decided to host the Tour de France… on a train. There were no seats and barely any space for a single human being to get on the train, yet we all packed in there like sardines, body to body because that’s what everyone else was doing.
And I started doing that thing we all do.
“Olivia, it’s fine.”
“It’s only an hour.”
“You’re in Italy, stop being dramatic.”
“You don’t need luxury all the time.”
But my body was like… absolutely not. Every part of me was screaming: get off this train.
So I pulled up my app and looked at other options. There was a high speed train leaving in 30 minutes for €39.
First class. Assigned seat. Air conditioning. Peace.
And for a second, I hesitated, because I had already spent the €9 and I didn’t want to “waste” it. I didn’t want to be too much of a princess and “uncultured.”
But then I caught myself. And I was like… what am I doing? What am I trying to prove? And to whom? AND WHY DO I CARE? lol.
So I got off the train and booked the new one. And not only was it calm and spacious and actually enjoyable, with my own window seat, air conditioning, peace and quiet… It got to Florence before the original train would have.
And I just sat there like… Wow. We do this all the time. We stay in things because we already invested time, money, and energy. We stay on the wrong train because we don’t want to waste what we’ve already spent (sunk cost fallacy). Even when EVERY part of us knows it’s not right.
But the truth is… You don’t get bonus points for enduring something that’s draining you. You don’t win anything for sticking it out in a situation that doesn’t feel good.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is get off the damn train.
You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to choose something better. You’re allowed to choose ease.
And no, that doesn’t mean everything in life is effortless. But it does mean you stop choosing hard for no reason.
It’s actually why I love the form of real estate investing called “house hacking” so much. It’s the same concept. People will spend years saving, stressing, and overcomplicating how to get into real estate. Taking the long, difficult route because it feels more “responsible.” When in reality, there are ways to make it easier.
To reduce your living expenses by over a thousand dollars a month. To live for free. To get started now instead of waiting years. Like yes, you can do it the hard way. OR you can just… not.
If you’re reading this and you’re like okay, wait… I actually want to understand how to invest in real estate in a way that feels simple and aligned, I put together a free masterclass where I break down exactly how to buy properties that actually pay for your life.
It’s not complicated or overwhelming. I break it down in a way that makes you go… wait, that’s actually doable.
Because at the end of the day, this isn’t just about real estate, it’s about the way you live your life. The things you tolerate. The things you tell yourself are fine. The things you stay in… even when you know you want more.
And that’s where the real shift lies… It’s in realizing that you have more choice than you think. You don’t have to sit with the ants. You don’t have to stay on the chaotic train. You don’t have to build a life that’s just… fine.
You get to choose joy. You get to choose ease. You get to choose happy.
Your life isn’t meant to be something you tolerate; it’s meant to be something you actually enjoy. And sometimes, that starts with something as simple as getting up… and moving your towel.
Life is wayyyyyy too damn short to choose clouds ☀️
Olivia xx
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